Somehow I knew I'd get here

Well, here we are! Can you believe that, as a young middle schooler, I knew I would have a blog, but it took me until I was 30 to actually make one? I've always loved to write, but I have learned I may not be the best writer. When we took those end-of-year assessments for writing in school, I earned top marks in 5th grade, the next to highest marks in 8th grade (which was a huge blow to my ego--I wrote a beautiful nonfiction piece on Obama!!!!), and then average marks in my Junior year of high school. I just kept expecting more and more people not to like how I wrote or what I had to say. And to be truthful, I might have ended my persuasive essay in my Junior year with, "But it doesn't really matter what I wrote in the last few minutes of this assessment because you all are going to give me a four (out of six) no matter what, so persuaded or not persuaded, it literally doesn't matter." Haha!

But my writing made a bounce back. My professors liked what I had to say in my undergraduate degree. I made a really strong connection with a professor in my master's program who said, "You know, let's write a journal article together; I bet you could do it." And by the time I was ready to take the GRE, I was told by my future PhD program that I needed really high marks for funding. I practiced really hard and ended up scoring in the 95th percentile in writing. I then went on to publish many academic journals (that are not for the average consumer, trust me), but also found some freelance work with a teaching blog. I still write for them, and I've published other thought pieces in other education spaces, too. I know that I might not be the best writer, but my sister who is an ELA teacher told me a few years ago, "Who taught us that we have to enjoy things only if we are good at them? Can't we like things we are just okay at?" Yes. I am just okay.

So why did it take me until now to finally start a blog?

The easy answer is fear. The truthful answer is I'm not quite sure what I have to say is that important.

Doesn't it seem like everyone in their thirties is starting a podcast? Yeah, I consume at least 3-4 podcast episodes a day — I get it — but not everyone has something THAT important to say. I love learning, so I enjoy consuming things that I can learn from.

If I take this same spirit, I'm not sure I will have the same "Here is what you can learn from me!!" content, but this can be a space for me to write what I'm thinking. Five people will read max. I can guarantee my husband will not ever read my blog posts ("pineapple"), and only curious minds will arrive here.

But before I announce my website —which really needed to happen for fundraiser quilt purposes —I needed to have a blog post here at least. So here is a filler for that empty space. I hope to make more blog posts where I can just write for me!

(Too long; didn't read) TL;DR: I know I may not be the best writer, but I LIKE to write. I also recognize that most people with egos do this for self-importance. But I want to write for me, and this is the beginning.