Unforgotten: The Quilt None of Us Wanted to Make

The Moment Everything Came Back

Trigger warning: sexual assault.

When America again chose a man who bragged about assaulting women, something inside me cracked open. My body remembered. My trauma resurfaced. I sat with that rage—sharp, hot, and familiar—and knew I needed to stitch it into something tangible.

So I put out a call: If you are a sewist who has survived sexual assault, and you felt that same visceral reaction, let’s create something together from what we’ve carried alone.

That was the beginning of Unforgotten.

The Block That Pissed Me Off

When it came time to make my block, I was furious. I didn’t want to dedicate fabric to my assault. I didn’t want to like this block, or to be proud of it.

I was fifteen.
A guy pushed me against a wall and pulled down my shirt.

I remember his hands—creepy as hell—and I remember the wall. I see it still in stone houses and cracked sidewalks, replaying over and over. My raw-edge appliqué hands look just as unsettling. My husband still accidentally jump scares me with his hands. The body never forgets.

Making this block forced me to look again at that wall. At him. At the privilege behind his violence. The entitlement. The erection of walls—literal and symbolic—that protect men and silence women.

Rooms We Remember

Every survivor who joined this project carried her own room.

Living room. Elevator. Kitchen. Classroom. Office. Motorcycle. Apartment. Shower. Doorway. Party. Wall. Bed. Studio. Gallery. Home.

Each one unsafe. Each one a site of survival.
Together, they form the architecture of trauma—and resilience.

Inheritance

What we inherit isn’t fabric.
It’s silence.
Touch. Fear. Confusion. Shame. Blame. Control. Submission. Threats. Gaslight. Guilt. Isolation. Pregnancy. Choice. Politics. Grief. Relief. Loss.

And then, somehow:
Mother. Daughter. Quilt. Voice. Truth. Healing. Connection. Power. No means no.

The Weight We Carry

I carry my assault every day. Sometimes it feels lighter. Most days, it doesn’t. Watching a country celebrate a known abuser—that’s when it feels heaviest.

Not everyone in our group could make a block. Some couldn’t face it. Some signed up but never started. Some acknowledged the project quietly. Some stayed silent.

So this quilt holds us all.
Those who sewed.
Those who couldn’t.
Those who still can’t.
Those whose stories are buried deep in muscle and bone.

You know I always have a plug for therapy—but this weight, we all agreed, will never fully lift.

They carry nothing.
We carry everything.

Survival Made Visible

After custom longarming from Kaia Kessler, and hand quilting and embroidery from Hannah Alexander and me, the Unforgotten Quilt became something both furious and beautiful.

We used Aurifil 8wt thread—colors 2600, 2000, 1148, 2350, 1133, 4241—to stitch grief into visibility.

Every thread is defiance.
Every stitch says: You were not alone.

This quilt weaves what was stolen into something unbreakable. It is grief and defiance. Survival made visible.

We are Unforgotten.