In Spite of Ourselves: Mini Quilt from a Dark and Bright Place

In Spite of Ourselves

This little quilt started from a dark place. In 2024, I graduated, became a mom of two boys, and went from living twelve hours away from home to fifteen. Tom and I had already been homesick for years, and now we were even farther away from Tennessee—my parents, the hills, the feeling of belonging. And because I love to make things harder on myself, I decided to go off my antidepressant for the first time since 2017. 😅

Winter came, and it hit me like a brick. I’ve always been SAD in the winter because of SAD (seasonal affective disorder), but this time it was worse. I was lonely, postpartum, exhausted, and missing home. I just wanted Tennessee—the cold mornings, the colors, my parents, our log cabin. It was hard to find signs of life outside of work.

But like my parents always taught me, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and pulled myself out of the shadows. In spite of myself.

The Making

This was my first-ever project in EQ8. The design is based on a photo taken in Fall Branch, Tennessee—where my parents’ log cabin sits. I turned it into a mini quilt as a gift for them.

My FPP skills were limited at the time, but even with my baby-level design abilities, I was determined. 🥹 The sewing took a long time, but what took what it felt like even longer was ripping out all those foundation papers at the end. Tom—who always says that part is “so satisfying”—would like to officially redact that statement after this project 🤣. His video game friends now know: if Tom ever doesn’t log in at night, it’s probably because he’s been drafted into paper-ripping duty. #artquiltlife

Technically, this project was a big leap forward for me. It was the first time I felt like I was designing art, not just making something pretty. I learned to build my own patterns, even if that meant dividing the design into awkward little blocks, even if half my seams didn’t quite line up. It was still progress.

The Meaning

The truth is, this quilt was about more than learning software or sewing technique. It was about coming back to myself. When I finally went back on my meds and started to feel clear again, I channeled that energy into this piece—a gift for the two people who’ve always modeled what it looks like to keep going, even when things get hard.

The difficulties of my parents’ lives aren’t mine to tell, but I’ve seen them fight, break, rebuild, and choose each other again and again. In spite of it all. That kind of resilience sits deep in my bones. It’s what brought me back to life while I pieced this together.

We’re probably never moving back home. But the home I grew up in—those Tennessee hills, that log cabin light—lives inside me. This quilt became a way to hold it. To stitch my parents’ love and their fight into something tangible.

It’s bright because of my bright memories. It’s complex because life is. It’s imperfect because so are we.

The Backing Story

I didn’t need to make a cool backing—it’s going to hang on the wall—but I wanted it to mean something. So I took scraps from the front, cut them into 2.5” squares, and made mini log cabin blocks for each of us who came from Mom and Dad’s love.

There are twelve of us right now: five by birth, three by marriage, and four grandchildren. That number will change someday, but this quilt captures us as we are in this moment. 

I thought I’d assign each of us to a block in order, but then the “happy” people ended up with the darkest colors 🤣. I gave up labeling and just mumbled through who was who when I showed it to my parents. Everyone has a block somewhere. Choose your own—it’s fine 🤣🤣🤣.

Home, Carried Forward

Designing this mini quilt reminded me that even when I’m far from home, I can still carry home with me. My parents taught me how to fight back, how to keep going. That same Tennessee light that fills their house lives in me, too.

Winter always concludes. The fog always lifts. And when it does, there’s always color. There’s always something bright waiting to be sewn together again.

Artist Statement

This bright little quilt began in a dark season. Homesickness, postpartum rage, and off my meds for the first time in years. But like my parents always have, I fought back. In Spite of Ourselves is about finding color through the fog, about home as both memory and inheritance. The Tennessee light still lives in me; I will carry it with me wherever I go. Despite everything, we’re on a rainbow.